5 Methods to Improve Communication As A Family
If you find communicating with your family to be tricky, there are plenty of good reasons why this may be true. For starters, the family unit is not like a friend unit. Rather, a family consists of people at different points in their lives. They have unique perspectives and needs, yet they share close quarters within a hierarchy. How can anyone strike the proper balance for diverse ages, beliefs, and positions?
A good first step is to accept that this journey is ever-evolving. You’ll each need to commit to an ongoing process without any clear finish line. Let’s take a closer look.
5 Methods to Improve Communication As A Family
Once you realize that family communication has become dysfunctional, action must be taken. A skilled therapist can facilitate such action. In addition, each family member can contribute to this crucial effort in different ways.
1. Make That Bold First Move
Positive change begins when you commit to breaking counterproductive patterns. Pledge to stop leaving things unsaid and problems unresolved. Lead by example by expressing yourself clearly and respectfully. Let your family know you want to help end negative cycles and invite them to join you. This may involve some conversations about how expressing our emotions is not a sign of weakness.
2. Make Yourselves Available
Everyone is busy. They’re also often distracted by their devices. Furthermore, it’s not uncommon for people of any age to actively avoid necessary discussions. The best way to show your family that communication is a priority is to stop postponing and avoiding it.
3. Learn How to Listen
Once the family members have gotten more in the habit of talking, there’s another part to that equation. Healthy, active listening is non-negotiable. Regardless of anyone’s place within a family, they deserve to be respected and validated. Here are just a few ways to make that happen:
Be Curious: Don’t assume you know what someone will say. Instead, use listening as an opportunity to learn more about each other.
Be Respectful: Don’t interrupt others. Give them space to be heard. Watch your body language, facial expression, tone of voice, and vocal inflections. Reject passive-aggressive behaviors like the silent treatment, sarcasm, eye rolls, and more.
Be Empathetic: You’re not conversing with an enemy. Try to put yourself in your family member’s place and give them the benefit of the doubt.
4. Value Apologies and Forgiveness
Everyone messes up at times. The healthiest way to handle these moments is to take responsibility and hold yourself accountable. Own up to what you did, show remorse, offer a sincere apology, and do better next time.
Conversely, when you’re the recipient of an apology, be ready to forgive. Forgiveness is not the same as condoning someone’s behaviors. It’s how everyone can move forward without resentment.
5. Stay Aware of Your Family Members’ Needs
There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Therefore, when resolving issues together, factor in each other’s differences. Talk in such a way as to demonstrate you see and respect where you’re different. And lean on those ever-improving listening skills.
Help is Available
There’s typically some extra baggage to manage when it comes to families. This can serve as an obstacle to healthy communication. That’s why so many folks choose individual and/or family therapy. Your sessions can feel like a workshop/safe space for trying out new ways to connect with your loved ones. If you feel stuck when it comes to family communication, we're here to help you with this process. Reach out to learn more about family coaching and how it can help.
